The Story of Mark Twain Quotes


Some time ago, my Steven Pilker and myself were at the home of our favorite Mormon friend, Diana Beachum. What to our wandering eyes should appear but a book titled Mark Twain: Wisecracks and Witicisms? Steven and I took turns reading those observant yet baffling quotes in our best impression of the old humorist himself.

Needless to say, Diana did not keep us in her house long. But why should the fun stop there? We spent a whole night at Kelli Tucker's house, coming up with quotes off the top of our head. This resulted in so much laughing that it was difficult to breath. Or perhaps the latter was due to the cat hair.


Inventing Mark Twain quotes is a simple passtime that anyone can enjoy. Simply read a few dozen real quotes and watch an actor impersonate Twain on T.V. (I recommend "Time's Arrow" of Star Trek: The Next Generation.) You're ready to go. The trick is to start saying the quote before you know how it's going to end.

My "Classic Mark Twain Quotes" page captures many of those Steven Pilker and Kevin Eudy originals - some made up the night this whole saga began, and some in the years to follow. With the "Mark Twain Quote Generator," I have tried to capture the witty yet often perplexing style of America's most popular white-tuxedoed humorist. I have tried to tweak it such that each quote generated delivers a perfect two-handed punch, managing to be confusing yet also strangely insightful.